I've had a few rough days since I last wrote. Just the usual stuff, feeling unappreciated, ornery kids, physical exhaustion etc. etc. All par for where I am in life. But along with, and I think in part because of these sometimes intense feelings of dissatisfaction there are moments when I experience a great deal of joy. This morning I was watching I. and C. in their swimming lessons. Their faces were so bright and intent as they listened to their teachers. I watched I. kicking diligently and putting his face in the water. I was surprised to find my eyes tearing up. I can't believe he's grown up so fast! C. is the tallest one in his class by about three feet. :-) His teacher was teaching him to put the side of his head in the water. C. really had to work just to get his head down to the level of the water. I laughed watching him try to do it. Meanwhile, E. just slept like an angel. These are my boys. What an incredible thing that is.
Which is what makes all the ingratitude, and the tantrums and the fighting worth it in the end. In all fairness, I don't make it terribly easy, for myself or them. It isn't their fault they were sent to a compulsively neat mother. I'll try to remember that and quit feeling so sorry for myself.
2 comments:
I wish I could remember what talk this was in conference but one of the men spoke about motherhood and how we need to expect the joys to come in moments. It's so true isn't it? Those moments are so beautiful though. You are a good woman and an example to me. Keep up the good work.
I and C are fantastic. It's been fun to see C's personality emerge over the last year; he can be so sweet. That comment Michelle made about joy visiting us in "moments" sure is true. At least my life has been that way! I suppose those moments are what we cherish and think about, until the next one comes.
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