Our desktop computer kicked the bucket a couple days ago. We haven't yet diagnosed the problem... other than an age that puts it in prehistoric context. So it may not be irreparable. But given the state of our bank account right now and the fact that Tom gets paid on Thursday, we're waiting to find out. Today was the first day I had to go without a computer until the Professor came home with his laptop (on which I'm writing this post). And of course to say 'without a computer' really just means without internet. Without the constant irritation of distraction from my automatically updating email page, the temptation of virtually limitless shopping venues (where I never buy a thing), and of course the instantaneous gratification of google searching for all life's answers.
I watched the Professor this morning (taking his laptop with him) with a determination to enjoy the experience of being unplugged. I found that I could do without the access to recipes online. I even made do with not knowing the answer to some questions that were concerning me today, like why my dog has suddenly decided to lick her skin raw. I found I didn't need to listen to music that I couldn't find in my long unused CD case. And I found myself enjoying a few moments of quiet solitude when I didn't feel that nagging draw to just check _______, that inevitably turns into an hour of surfing. The house wasn't any more quiet than usual, but it felt as though it were.
That didn't stop me from pulling out the Professor's laptop within a few minutes of him arriving home. But I was disappointed. There were no urgent emails, no new Facebook messages, no new blog comments (ahem). And I found myself putting it away, rather deflated. Perhaps I'm not connected enough, I allowed myself to think. Momentarily, I decided that's not the case. I love my family and friends, and I know that I am loved. That isn't the same as having what some might call a bustling email account or countless comments and updates on every little thing I am doing. I think it's a deeper connection, and ultimately it is more fulfilling than all the busy-ness of the internet.
All the same... I think the next few days might be a bit of a challenge for me. In only the best way, of course.
Love,
The Professor's Wife
3 comments:
Could be worse...I guess.
I have found myself in the same position... forcing myself away from the computer for several hours only to find that no one in the internet world really missed me. But's okay. Thanks for your perspective!
I just went though the same thing. Why does just 7 hours without a computer feel like 7 days? I am not even that dependent on if for many things and yet when it is not there I feel like I have a phantom limb. I would reach down to open the laptop only to realize there wasn't one to open.
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